


Retrograde

by paynesgrey



Category: Heroes - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Episode: s01e20 Five Years Gone, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-02-04
Updated: 2008-02-04
Packaged: 2017-10-22 12:44:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/238122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paynesgrey/pseuds/paynesgrey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She was dangerous to the cause, and Hiro Nakamura would convince Niki Sanders in any way he could that taking Peter Petrelli away from him would cost a lot of lives.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Retrograde

Part One

With a loud creak, the door opened, and she came face to face with her boyfriend's loyal comrade and friend, Hiro Nakamura.

"Niki, we need to talk," he said briskly. His eyes were unclouded and determined with an obvious cause.

She let the door whine open and gestured him inside. A forced smile erupted on her face. "Hiro Nakamura, what can I do for you?" She turned from him as he hovered over her stoop. She walked back to her comfortable couch and sat down as the mercenary stared at her, his expression hesitant for what he was going to say. A Nina Simone song started on her player and filtered throughout the room.

"I promise that this visit will be short." Niki rolled her eyes at him, but he ignored her. Instead, she saw the muscles in his face tense. "It's about your relationship with Peter."

At this point Niki would have been cordial with anyone other than Hiro. Since Peter rescued her from the Moab Federal Penitentiary, she and Hiro had never seemed to get along, and when Peter suggested that Niki join their cause, it was obvious Hiro had been slightly irritated by the request. Niki had even overheard a conversation later between them that indicated Hiro's main disapproval.

"Peter, you can't let this one get into your heart like the last one did. You have a duty, to others and to yourself," Hiro chastised, but Peter tried to argue his feelings on the matter.

"Hiro, I already know what my destiny is. You don't have to remind me." He had paused, sighing loudly. "I won't get close to Niki, not like I did with Elle. I just... I want to help her. She has so much more pain than her powers have caused."

Hiro's face remained hardened, and he was hardly sympathetic to Peter's usual empathy. "Every one of these survivors has pain beyond their gifts. You can't bring all of them into bed with you and heal their hearts."

Peter had been hurt, and even the look of anger on his face did nothing to change Hiro's mind. Niki had walked off after eavesdropping to find a place in the encampment to be alone. She had no control over her feelings, and she never thought that Peter meant to manipulate her either. Hiro had no right to interfere on their happiness. Why couldn't two people who cared for each other find love in a time like this, where the world was in chaos and their kind were being hunted down and executed? She thought after everything they lost, they deserved each other. She deserved Peter.

Hiro made a small noise in his throat, bringing Niki back from her thoughts of the past. She groaned inwardly and realized he was still here.

"I figured as much," Niki said. She turned to face him. "Look, Hiro. You can't change the way things are. Peter and I are together, and we are happy."

"But you can't be," he countered.

Niki threw her arms up in the air. "And why not? Because you said so?" She was trying to hold in her anger, but she couldn't help it. Things were only getting nastier. She had good mind to throw Hiro out. The audacity!

"Peter is needed with me to help others like us. He's the most powerful person in this world, and his invisibility makes him extremely elusive! The last encounter with Homeland Security has reported him presumed dead, and suddenly, you persuade him that it's a good time to retire! Well, I can't let that happen." Hiro charged toward her on the couch, sitting next to her and grabbing her arm. Fury was swirling in his dark eyes. "You can't let him either! You're taking him away from saving so many people!"

Niki pulled her arm away from his grip and glared at him. "How dare you! How can you even act as though you know what's good for Peter! Why does he even have to help anyone? Doesn't he deserve to be happy too?"

"This isn't about one individual's happiness, or two people where you're concerned; this is about saving the entire world - it's about saving people!" Hiro said.

"But you can't save the world anymore, Hiro. We've already lost! Why won't you accept that?" She got up from her couch, and he stood up with her, watching as she paced the room. "I won't change my mind. You need to leave, Hiro." Her voice was low, intoned with fury. He had no idea what she wanted to do to him right now, but she would never hurt Peter's friend. Hiro needed to understand it was time to get out of their lives for good. She was tired of fighting lost causes.

"I won't, Niki," Hiro said sternly. He just didn't learn. "I won't go until you understand my side." Niki turned to face him again, her eyes wide to his meaning. "We haven't lost, despite what you may think."

Niki glared at him, feeling unconvinced.

Hiro kept his strong demeanor, and he told her point blank, "I'm working on a way to pinpoint the exact moment in time where we can change the future and stop the explosion from happening."

Silence engulfed the room. Niki stared at him in shock, and after the tension increased between them, she let out a hearty laugh. Hiro watched her placidly, unmoving from his stance. He seemed extremely convinced such a thing was possible.

Niki's laughter died a little, and she said to him, "Are you kidding me? Do you really think you're capable of doing that?" Her mirth turned to scorn. "Don't play with me, Hiro. No one can do that, not even you." She turned to him, closing her arms around her chest. "Don't waste my time. Why won't you just see that the war is over?"

"It's not. Not for me." His tone was softer now, almost weary. He turned away from her piercing gaze, staring at the floor. "This is why I need Peter, without distractions. He can help me. I need him to get me to certain Homeland Security hotspots undetected so I can gain the evidence I need to construct the ‘String Theory’."

"String Theory?" Niki inquired. As much as she was against the idea, she seemed genuinely curious.

"Yes," he said, walking toward her, seemingly more energetic now that she was listening. "For awhile now I've been working on a way to study events of the past and pinpoint the best time to go back and prevent the explosion."

Niki blinked at him. She couldn't understand it, of course, but she was aware that Hiro was powerful. But was it really possible? It appeared to her as nothing but misguided hope on his part.

"And then what, Hiro? Everything will change, and we won't be sad anymore?" Niki mocked.

Hiro clenched his jaw, the light of his face disappearing. He obviously didn't appreciate her cynicism. "If this works, Niki, and it will, I will change time itself, and then we won't even be standing here having this conversation." He crossed his arms and challenged her predatory demeanor. "We may not even meet if everything is fixed."

"Fixed? And how do you propose we _fix_ everything?" she asked sarcastically. He'd have to do better than that to convince her.

"For one... we stop Sylar from exploding, and then we kill him."

Niki's face erupted in fury. "Don't you _ever_ say that name around me!" She pointed a hard nail into his chest, and as she got closer to his person, he retreated backward against the wall. Niki continued to rage at him. "You can say anything to me, Hiro, but never bring up that murderer's name again!" Tears welled up in her heavily mascaraed eyes. She looked away momentarily, and felt a wave of nausea and grief rise inside her belly, and then she thought of her son who died because of Sylar.

"Niki, I know you're still sad about your son, but I..."

"Shut up... shut up!" She couldn't control her rage anymore. Why couldn't Hiro let it go? They had lost, and this was how things were. They couldn't change anything. They just had to move forward and try to live their lives as best they could. Being with Peter would give her that lifestyle, and once he cut ties with Hiro and his futile crusade, they didn't have to deal with Homeland Security anymore. They could leave this place and hide out somewhere, anywhere, where they could attempt to start anew.

The president had won, and if Hiro couldn't accept it when they could, he'd just have to do things on his own. She felt Peter deserved better, and Hiro was only bringing him down, and she didn't care about this 'String Theory' or whatever Hiro was deluded into thinking he could do. She didn't want any part of it, and she'd make sure Peter didn't either.

"Niki... I'm trying to save him. I need you to understand."

Niki slammed a hand on the wall, boxing Hiro in. He stood rigid with only inches between them. He watched her in silence as she tried to control her temper.

"Hiro, I don't want to hurt you, but if you don't leave now..." She looked up from the ground and pierced into his eyes threateningly. Her voice came out into a wavering growl. "I will rip you apart."

Yet, like the warrior that he was, Hiro remained calm and met her threat with bravery, just as she expected. He didn't seem intimidated, and as smart as he was he would not take her strength lightly, yet he continued to defy her. He was determined for her understand him; it was gutsy, and she'd give him that at least.

"I'm not leaving here until you understand how selfish you're being, Niki. Peter is not yours to keep. Many innocent people need Peter's abilities," Hiro countered strongly.

Niki shook her head. "That's all you see him as, isn't it? You just see Peter for his powers, his empathy. But do you know how I see him, Hiro?" Her face softened a little. "I see him as someone who deserves happiness, and who has seen and done enough in his life." She shook her head and laughed a little. "It's over, Hiro. Don't you get it?"

"No, Niki." He lightly pulled her arm down from caging him in. "I still have hope. I still think I can change things. I will see Ando again - alive, just like so many people who have lost their lives in a meaningless tragedy." He began to walk toward the door, and she watched him turn his back from her.

She slapped her hands on her hips. "You can't keep doing this to yourself, Hiro. How long are you going to follow this fantasy? It doesn't matter where you pop at in time, the explosion will still go off and people without abilities will still hunt us like freaks." Her voice began to waver, and the walls she had fortified around herself began to shake. She had spent every one of her days after the explosion trying to be strong, and although Peter and Hiro had at one time instilled some hope into her, she knew that it was gone after the last time they had lost against Homeland Security. She knew they had lost when people like Matt Parkman, a man with abilities himself, supported a movement to control and nullify their own kind.

The state of the world was only getting worse, and Niki truly believed there was no hope anymore.

Hiro stopped with his hand on the door knob. He didn't turn around, but Niki supposed he'd get in one last word. "I'm sorry, Niki. I thought perhaps you'd understand, but I won't give up. I'll continue to talk to Peter."

"It won't work, Hiro. He's with me now. You need to forget about this," she reaffirmed.

"I won't." He paused. "I won't forget about people like Ando and Micah." The air felt colder as he mentioned her dead son's name. "I'm going to save them."

Before the door creaked back open, Niki fell to her knees. Micah - her son, and after all this time of trying to push the emotions aside, she couldn’t hold back any longer. Oh, God, how she missed him! He'd been wonderful, brilliant, and loving; the most precious part of her, taken before his time. The idea that Hiro could save Micah was all too tempting, but there was a darkness inside her that prevented her from giving into Hiro's hopes. She didn't want to set herself up for failure because if Hiro's string theory didn't work that she'd lose Micah all over again.

"Micah," she sobbed. "Baby..." she whispered to herself, remembering him and trying to hold on to the images, hoping that someday they would still be fresh in her mind as time unraveled by.

When she thought Hiro was gone, she looked up and realized he was still standing there. Her eyes widened, and the lone, distant soldier who she always found nobly stoic was still standing in the doorway, watching her at one of her most vulnerable times.

"Leave me," she begged, her voice choking with tears.

He closed the door slowly, and she watched his footsteps as he came back over to her. She watched him crouch down, and she met his gentle eyes.

"No." He placed a comforting hand on her shoulder and helped her off the floor. His body was warm against her, and she felt her knees weaken, and she fell into his arms. She smelled jasmine as she continued to cry.

\--

Part Two

Hiro didn't know what he was doing. Normally, he would have just left Niki to cry. He'd seen her cry so many times before, why was now any different?

 _Peter's not here tonight_ , he thought to himself. True, Peter was wrapping up some personal business in Washington before he went into hiding with Niki once and for all. It was that information that prompted Hiro to finally meet Niki alone tonight and appeal to her.

He never thought he'd be comforting the crying woman in his arms.

He stiffened as she wrapped her arms around him, clinging onto his body desperately for what little kindness he could offer her. Though the two of them never got along, he respected Niki and cared about her as his comrade who once helped them in many missions.

Her sobs were louder against his chest, and he could tell that Niki just couldn’t let go of the memories of Micah. She held onto him tighter, and unconsciously, he slid his fingers through her long blond hair. A sense of peace washed over him as he comforted her, helping just one more person in his fate to save the entire world.

Yet, deep inside, he knew that Niki wasn’t like the rest. She was beyond the word ‘special’ he used to describe people. Niki was his friend, and she’d helped them more times than he could count. Peter cared about her deeply, and Hiro was beginning to see why, while feeling foolish that he’d spent so much of his time pushing her away.

Did he really have a reason for his initial animosity?

Niki was broken and delicate, a woman in need of shielding from the sharpest evils of this world. Men like Peter gravitated to her, taking her up as a rescue cause. She was appealing in that sense, and Hiro was starting to understand it.

He supposed he was even more like Peter than he cared to admit.

Hiro stilled as Niki’s body began to rock against him, and suddenly, he realized music was still playing in her apartment. This time, the music was soft and sensual without lyrics. A certain mood was already baiting him, and he feared being caught.

He had no business having such feelings about Peter’s girlfriend.

“Niki, are you alright?” he whispered. A loud sniffle was his answer, and he slowly peeled her away from him. He hoped, at least, their argument was over. They could agree to disagree, and he was sure Niki was in no state to listen to his appeals further. She drew away from his embrace reluctantly, and Hiro watched as her gaze never let the floor. Her cheeks were flushed, and the tears on her face were starting to dry.

“I’ll come back another time,” he said softly.

“Don’t,” she was quick to answer. “Next time I won’t let you in.”

Hiro felt slightly annoyed again, but he was calm enough to prevent a rebuttal. She knew she couldn’t stop him, and he was determined to appeal to Peter’s compassion. Peter couldn’t hide with her forever, and she couldn’t always convince him. Despite Hiro’s knowledge of Niki and Peter’s relationship, he supposed it was temporary. What was one woman compared to the fate of the world?

Niki’s gaze still did not meet his, and the deep sadness of her son would remain through the evening. Once he left through that door, Niki would cry alone, and the thought pained him.

She dropped her hands from him, but he caught them, and even though he didn’t want to do this, he thought that maybe his kindness would remind her to reconsider his initial plea.

Niki looked at him, half-surprised and half-perplexed. He couldn’t even surmise what was going on behind her troubled eyes.

“You’re going to be alright, tonight?” Her hands were so soft in his, and he tried to keep his focus. Niki nodded, looking away again.

“Peter should be back tomorrow morning,” Hiro said, though he felt like his words were just dangling in the air as she refused to respond. When he tried to let go of her hands, she held her grip.

“Stay,” she spoke just above a whisper. Her eyes met his momentarily. “If you leave now, you’ll never convince me.”

Hiro was taken aback. Was she really insinuating what he most feared? He stiffened, and suddenly, she was slowly leading him back against the wall. Her sad eyes jumped alive with ferocity. Hiro winced; her grip on his hands was painful now, beyond a normal human’s strength.

“You say you can save him?” she choked out. “I don’t want to believe you, Hiro. I don’t want to say ‘yes, it’s okay’ and lose him all over again. Do you understand?”

Immediately, Hiro nodded. “I, too, fear the same thing, Niki,” Hiro replied honestly. “If I do not do everything precisely right, I could end up seeing Ando die not once, but twice before my eyes.”

Niki’s lip quivered, and she sniffled again. “Then you see why I’m so scared?”

Something strange overcame him, and lightly, he pushed back a strand of blond hair behind her ear.

“I do see,” he whispered again. Niki broke into sobs again, and she returned to his embrace. Hiro felt stunned and electrified as her hands fell all over him, desperate for his touch.

“Niki…” It came out like a moan, and it shouldn’t have. She grabbed his face and peered into his eyes, and he froze.

“Save him, Hiro. Save him if you can,” she demanded, and Hiro nodded quickly, and vertigo set in as she leaned closer to him, reacting not just from an automatic response – but a promise.

He didn’t know who was guilty of initiating it, but Hiro’s lips felt hers, and soon he was slammed against the wall again, harder than before. She tore the band of his ponytail, fisting her hands through his hair, messy and wild around his face.

Conscious thought was fading away, and when her breasts rubbed against him, he lost all reason to stop her. With Niki’s hot mouth on his and strong nails digging into his scalp, he doubted reason existed anymore.

Time was pulled forward beyond his thought, and before guilt circled in his brain again, Niki straddled him on her bed, her hot skin against his in the cool, dry air. And when things had gone fast, her motions began to slow, and she leaned into his face for a soft, lingering kiss. He heard her whisper against his skin, “And when you save him, I’ll bring him with me to thank you… somehow.”

With that, Hiro realized it was her appeal winning and not his. He kissed her while she cried and comforted her when time had been cruel – becoming the closest thing she could get to the past. She’d been scared at first, unsure how to believe in something she’d lost before.

He deepened the kiss, reckoning that the touch he offered her would be the hope she craved.

“Niki…” he sighed, and he suddenly felt her move, encompassing and wrapping her heat around him. She rocked over him, drawing him in. He groaned, arching his hips into her as she pushed faster.

She shifted their bodies, settling in his lap and bouncing against him, pulling him closer. He snaked his arms around her, and rubbed his hands lightly over her skin, kissing her tenderly and slowly as her lips stilled.

He felt her tears on his cheeks, and her hands returned to his hair, pulling softly and releasing as she rested against his chest.

He was jarred, and felt her muscles tense over him, and he let out ragged grunt as he let go, pooling his warmth inside her. He sighed, and she slowed, and he drew her against him on the bed within a safe embrace.

His fingers tangled in her hair again, and he closed his eyes, listening as her breath steadied against him. Her cheeks against his chest were dry, and the broken tears were gone.

He couldn’t promise her that he’d save Micah. He had struggled so far to get to this point with her that he dared not break her down again.

Quietly, he rose from the bed, breaking away from her. He heard movement as she turned, and he could feel her eyes on him, watching.

“Hiro?” He wondered why she would question him leaving when they both knew that they were done, and he never belonged here to begin with.

“I should go.” His voice cut like ice through the air, and he knew it was painful for him to even say. He had stayed just long enough to comfort this grieving woman and hopefully rejuvenate her hope again, but there was nothing else that would inspire him to remain.

Silence wedged between them, and as he gathered his clothes, he felt like hours were passing by rather than minutes. How would she judge him now? More importantly, how would he judge himself?

Did he just use this poor woman to get her to see his cause?

“I’ll wait,” he said, “for a couple days before I say good-bye to Peter.” The zipper to his coat was loud and sharp. “Then I’m going to ask him to reconsider again.”

He heard a low chuckle behind him. He turned, and he met radiant eyes. The anguished girl inside her was long gone, and he was staring into the eyes of someone more confident.

Hiro felt suspicious, yet feigned obliviousness.

“You can ask him again all you want, Hiro,” Niki purred darkly. She clutched the pillow affectionately, and her spirited eyes turned menacing. “Just remember what you promised me.” She paused, and Hiro nodded. “Save him. Save Micah.” She smirked, her confidence teetering. “If you can.”

Hiro watched her intently for a moment, and when nothing more could be said, he strapped his sword around his body and inwardly lamented how cold it was outside. He gave Niki one last bow, and he marched toward the door. With Niki’s eyes still on him, he resisted the temptation to look back, meeting her contradictory gaze once again.

The door shut behind him, and he let out a languid sigh, lightly inhaling the soot-filled air. He sniffed, studying his surroundings.

He took a step forward and remembered Niki’s son, waiting to be saved. The dry, war-torn world pulsated around him, and for a moment, he felt less exposed as a terrorist than he did within the arms of that hopeless woman.

And renewed hope for them, he thought, would stir beyond their reach – sliding just a couple steps backward.

END  



End file.
